So Many Answers (part 3)

ABOUT MATERIAL THINGS

I notice that you make a lot of gifts for friends and family rather than purchase them. that has inspired me to do much of the same, because honestly, something home made is FAR better than something you pick up at the store. not to mention, i think the economic situation has inspired a lot of us to be more self sustaining. what is your motivation for being so "green"?

The movie, “The story of stuff,” was very inspirational for me, and after I saw it for the first time, I vowed to buy as little “stuff” as possible. Also, I try to make sure that the stuff that I DO buy is really essential, high-quality stuff that will not end up in a landfill in six months (as most stuff does). So my motivation for making handmade gifts is primarily environmental. I also prefer to receive handmade things, so it seems logical to give what I would prefer to get. For the kids, it’s a way that they can participate in gifting something to one of their friends, since they don’t have money to buy presents. They can help me think up the idea of what to make, pick fabrics, help design the pattern, etc. I find handmade gifts to be priceless and to mean so much more than anything store-bought.


I am curious where you found a lot of the great playthings you have for your kids. Specifically, I'd love to know where you got the process table and the large wooden trucks that are in the kids' playroom.

The trucks and the process table both came from one of my favorite companies: Community Playthings. The boys had some expensive, handmade wooden trucks when they were younger, and most of them broke within a year. That was upsetting for me since one of the reasons why I enjoy wooden toys is because, generally speaking, they're built to last! The trucks at Community Playthings come with a 10-year-warranty, but they're so solid that I'd be shocked if they ever broke. One of my other most favorite companies is Camden Rose. In general, I search for open-ended, high-quality toys that encourage joint play and appeal to a range of ages. I especially appreciate handmade toys because I think you can really feel the love energy in them.

What is your favorite type of overnight cloth diaper? favorite cover? prefolds or fitteds? favorite diaper material?

For overnight use, I prefer to use an organic cotton Dream-eze fitted under an aristocrat soaker. I like to use wool covers best, and I don’t think I could pick a top favorite, but I love (in no particular order): loveybums jersey knit, firefly easy wool, kiwi pie kiwi peel, and little beetle wraps. I used strictly prefolds and flats in the early months with the first three kids, but I’ve invested in some fitteds for the newborn days this time around (mostly because Lena can’t stand prefolds, and also because they’re just so cute and this may be our last chance to try them!). Usually once babies get to the squirmy/crawling stage, I start to prefer AIOs for daytime use. I love the Bumgenius sized all-in-ones and the Dream-eze organic AIOs best. I like the feel and absorbency of organic cotton, but microfiber dries better (softer) on the line, so I'm torn about what my favorite diaper material is. If we didn't have a machine dryer, I'd definitely pick microfiber, but otherwise I guess I like organic cotton best (and this will be our first experience trying bamboo, so we'll see about that). I don't particularly care for hemp since in my experience it gets quite stiff and is prone to stinkiness.

Zeben at 4 months, wearing one of my favorite diaper covers,
made by Fuzbaby

Since reading your Christmas entries I've wondered endlessly about the source of your 'gift wrap scarves' and the techniques Lena used to apply them.

I bought the silks as blanks when Luke and Jaz were babies, and I’ve dyed them using both kool-aid and the dye that I use to dye t-shirts and diapers (not intended specifically for silk, but it works fine). The playsilks are one of the best toys in our playroom and are played with nearly every day. Lena’s directions about using playsilks as giftwrap:

“I lay out the playsilks, often doubling up since they’re somewhat see-through. I put the package on top of the silk so that it looks like a diamond on top of a square, with each corner of the package pointing to the middle of each side of the playsilk. And then I tie the corners of playsilk together, using square knots.”

(Maybe Lena will have to do a post about it with pictures some day).

Lukas wearing a playsilk cape

How do you pronounce bakfiets? And how did you come to know about it? Where did it originate from, how did you order yours?

I pronounce bakfiets “Bahk-feets.” But since I don’t speak dutch, I could be saying it wrong myself! “Bak” means “box,” and “fiets” means “bicycle,” so the English translation is “box-bike.” The plural version of bakfiets is “bakfietsen.” That’s about all I know in regards to the name! I can’t remember when or how I first heard about the existence of bakfietsen, but I assume they came up when I was researching family cycling (I was originally planning to get an xtracycle, but I didn’t love the way it felt to ride one with three kids on the back. I do think it is an excellent option for families with one or two kids). The bakfiets I have is made by a company called Workcycles which is in the Netherlands. I bought mine from a bike shop in Portland, Oregon that imports them (and which has continued to be very helpful and supportive from 3,000 miles away).

This is one of my favorite pictures of me on the bakfiets.

What kind of camera do you have? What setting do you use?

I have a Nikon D40, and just use the basic lens that came with it. It’s actually kind of broken (no surprise around here) and I am hoping to upgrade sometime soon (like before the baby is born). I use the “no flash” setting, and I edit the photos using iphoto.

Did those barns come pre-made or did you make them yourself?

The barns were pre-fabricated. We only had about two weeks between deciding to get goats and bringing the goats home, so we didn’t have time to build anything from scratch. We were able to buy the floor models from a local company at a great discount.


I have a throw back question - you mentioned starting to use "family cloth" a while ago - like last year. you had made a stack of rainbow colored wipes and talked about deciding to make a transition to using them instead of TP. how is that going?

I can tell you've been paying attention! Your question is well-timed too, since we had been using the rainbow cloth TP until very recently. The reason we’re not using it anymore is because each piece just had raw edges, and over time they unraveled more and more until there really wasn’t much left to them. A couple of weeks ago we threw our stash away, with plans to make a new one (with serged edges) whenever we feel up to it after Leo is born. But the experience of using cloth TP was great. The only difficulties about it were that a couple of times one of us (not naming any names out of fear of offending an incredibly pregnant person) forgot that she was using cloth TP, and dropped it into the toilet. And since we generally don’t flush unless we really need to, the other one of us would often come upon the toilet and have to fish a piece of cloth TP out of it. The other bummer was having to wash the cloth TP when we weren’t washing Zeben’s diapers anymore. It felt a bit wasteful, and caused us to go longer between washings, which caused the cloth TP to get kind of gross. But we will definitely be going back!

A stack of "family cloth" vs. a roll of toilet paper.

ABOUT OUR PLANS FOR THE FUTURE (NEAR AND FAR)

Besides wife-searching, what did you major in in college? Do you think you will pursue work in that area when the kids are bigger? What is your greatest passion in life?

When I went to college, I was planning to be a homebirth midwife. Majoring in “midwifery” or anything related wasn’t really possible (I was not cut out to be a bio major), so I majored in Early Chilhood Education, and spent my senior year of college student teaching in order to get certified to teach pre-k through third grade. I never really wanted to be a teacher exactly, but I’ve always loved working with kids, and it seemed the most fitting of the possible majors. I also liked that I would graduate with a “marketable skill,” even if it was one that I didn’t ever plan to use. After I graduated I did teach kindergarten (at the same school where Luke and Jaz now attend) for one semester, while pregnant with the twins (I had decided that giving birth would be my first step towards becoming a midwife). However, after my babies were born, I mostly lost my desire to be a midwife. It didn’t help that my experience of care during pregnancy was about as far from the midwifery model as it gets. And I ended up with a c-section instead of the homebirth of my dreams. I had also been so anxious during my pregnancy, and I imagined that as a midwife I would take on that anxiety for all of the women in my care. It didn’t seem nearly as appealing anymore. Additionally, I couldn’t imagine living the unpredictable life of a midwife and having to leave my children for days at a time in order to be at a birth. It’s amazing how having kids can change your perspective in so many ways! For a while I still thought that I wouldn’t go back to teaching, that instead I would go into a new field, perhaps more related to maternal health (maybe becoming an IBCLC or a labor and delivery nurse), but now I am beginning to think about being a teacher after all. It would be a great schedule to have, and I did enjoy it. I am planning to go to grad. school in the fall of 2010, most likely to do a one-year masters program in education (I think I need a refresher after spending all these years at home!), but nothing is for sure yet.

My greatest passion in life is being a mama, hands down. And helping other mamas in whatever ways I can, but especially with breastfeeding and learning to trust their instincts.

I love being a mom.

Will Lena take time off from work, once Leo is born or are you both staying home with the child or will you work? Do you both plan to breastfeed Leo? Is there anything special that you do to prepare the boys for the baby’s arrival? Any celebrations?

Lena and I will both be home for the summer. We have yet to experience a peaceful “babymoon” (like a honeymoon, but after a baby’s arrival), because we had twins the first time (nothing peaceful about that!), and then because Zeben was in and out of the hospital for his first month with breathing issues. So we’re setting everything up to make this the most lovely babymoon ever! Two stay-at-home moms, and our older kids in camp for most of the summer! Lena will definitely be the primary breastfeeder of Leo—her milk will be designed just for him, and my milk is designed for a 2.5-year-old—but I am hoping to at a minimum do some comfort nursing (i.e. allowing Leo to do non-nutritive sucking at my breast). We will wait at least 6 weeks to make sure that Lena’s supply is well-established. I don’t want to do anything to jeopardize her ability to provide him with everything that he needs. I really want to be able to nurse Leo when he’s older (like past his first birthday), which requires that I get him used to the idea when he’s still a baby. I am also a really excellent night-nurser (I can sleep through breastfeeding very well), so I will be happy to help out in this way if Lena needs a break when Leo is an older baby.

I am putting together a birth kit of things for Luke, Jaz, and Zeb for when Lena is in labor (they will be at my mom and sister’s house next door). So that is the main thing I’m doing pre-birth with them in mind. It will have special snacks and games and maybe a movie or two in it. After Leo is born, we may or may not have a welcome ceremony/party for him, depending on how we’re feeling.


I remember once you said that you rent the place you are in now, do you want to buy it? What do your landlords think about all the changes you made and animals and such?

We do love our sweet little house, but we would not choose to buy it even if we could (which we can’t, since it’s not for sale). The house only comes with a small patch of land (our landlords also live on the same property as us, in a huge renovated barn behind our house, and they have asked us not to use most of their 3 acres), so if our landlords were to sell it separately from their residence, it wouldn’t be enough outdoor space for us. Our barn and farm animals are located on my mother’s property, right next door; we never would have been able to set that up on our landlord’s property (we’re actually not even allowed to leave so much as a soccer ball in our yard overnight). I do think the landlords appreciate having the animals to some extent; they have 3 little kids who are certainly enjoying them.

Home, sweet home . . . for the time being

We would very much like to buy a house, though, hopefully sometime soon. Our ULTIMATE FANTASY is to buy land with a group of friends of ours and start a small intentional community. We already have the friends, the intention, and the community . . . but no land or money to buy any! Someday.


I know you love having three boys (and one on the way) but did you ever feel a yearning for a girl-child? What kind of names, if any, did you think up for possible girl-children? Are you guys done having kids after this?

I do sometimes yearn for a girl-child, though, surprisingly, not as much as I used to. I have a bit of a fantasy about adopting (through the state) a pair of sisters somewhere in the future, or maybe even a gay (female) teenager. I think my fantasy about having girl children has always been more about wanting to have adult daughters someday. I don’t think there would be much difference during the baby years. We never had girl names picked out for Luke and Jaz. Zeben was potentially going to be named “Tessa” if he were a girl, but we never really solidified that since we found out he was a boy at 19 weeks gestation. Leo was going to be named “Koa” (you can read more about that here), and since we really thought he was a girl in the beginning of the pregnancy, we referred to him as “Koa” for a couple of months before the revealing ultrasound. I think we probably are done making babies after this, but we thought we were done after Zeben too, so you never know. I have always wanted to adopt, and while this experience of expecting a baby who's not growing inside my body is satisfying that desire to some degree, I would still love to adopt if my wife would ever feel so inspired. We are licensed foster parents, and I can see us getting into fostering when our kids are older.


What are your plans regarding your children's school education? You mentioned homeschooling once. I would love to hear more about your dreams and opinions on school.

As an Education major in college, I spent many, many, many hours (though still not as many as I probably should have) studying the history of education in this country as well as the current state of things. My favorite educational philosophy is the Reggio Emilia approach. I want very much to believe in public education, but as things stand right now, I would not choose to send my children to public school. Budget cuts and state-wide testing regulations have created a less-than-wonderful public school environment. Of course there are wonderful exceptions, and some very promising charter schools (I would happily send my kids to the local Reggio Emilia charter school, but there is a very competitive lottery and they did not get in for kindergarten).

Right now the kids are at a wonderful private elementary school, with a rich, art-based curriculum (they went to a Reggio preschool for two years prior). My grandparents are paying for them to attend, and there is a good possibility that they will not be able to continue to do so indefinitely. In that case, we would most likely choose to homeschool/unschool. Also, if we end up moving somewhere where the commute to school seems unmanageable, then we would consider homeschooling as well. Ideally, this would take place within the context of a community of homeschoolers, and we likely wouldn’t spend more than a portion of each day actually at home (just as I find that I do best as a stay-at-home mom when I’m home for no more than a few hours out of every day). Since we got the goats, I have been fantasizing more and more about keeping the kids home and not having to rush out the door in the mornings. But for now, we are planning to keep them where they are, at school.


ABOUT OUR TRADITIONS

You do these wonderful holiday celebrations (like solstice), did you create your family traditions by yourself or were you raised that way or did you get into it at some other time in your life? How did you create your own way of celebrating, all those great rituals like with the eggs and the seeds?

I have written about this more in-depth in this post, but I will say briefly that I have gotten into celebrating some of the pagan holidays only since having children, and that this book has been a great inspiration (I think that’s where I learned about the birdseed-in-the-eggs ritual, but I’m not entirely sure).

Our fire pit is an integral part of our seasonal celebrations.

Do you still do your special Wednesday adventures?

We haven’t been doing them, but I am hoping to get back on-track soon now that it’s so beautiful outside again. I think most of our Wednesday afternoons of late have been spent doing barn chores and projects. We do still go to the library every third Wednesday.