Birth Plans

For the past few days, Lena has been working here and there at putting together a mix of songs that she thinks she might like to listen to during labor. I am impressed by her vision and motivation (in my own very pregnant state I went as far as planning to make cookies in early labor, but didn't even make sure that we had the ingredients on hand), and we have all been enjoying the results. Last night we listened to a bit of the mix while doing the dishes and broke out into some spontaneous dancing and singing (made all the more entertaining by Lena's 38-week belly). Here's a clip:



Lena and I are both hoping that we can carry some of this energy into the upcoming labor. That the birth of our fourth son will be at least part dance party. Our midwife told us at our last prenatal visit that she anticipates our birth as being "a really fun time," and I hope that her perception is correct, at least from Lena's perspective!

I myself have never experienced labor--a fact that separates me from the majority of mothers in the world--and it is uncharted territory in mine and Lena's relationship. We have never been through a labor together before. So far everything that Lena has experienced in our process of TTC and pregnancy has been stuff that I had already experienced firsthand. I've understood how deeply tired she's felt, and how emotionally fragile. I know what morning sickness feels like and the crazy sensation of feeling a baby moving inside you for the first time. But I do not know what labor feels like, and I've never pushed a baby out of my yoni before.

What's surprised me in thinking ahead to the birth of Leo is that it really doesn't bring up any negative feelings for me about the way in which our first three children were born. Don't get me wrong, I have plenty of negative feelings about my birth experiences, and I can't imagine that I'll ever fully recover from them emotionally. But contemplating Leo's birth is not a trigger for me. I'm just so glad that we're getting another chance at fulfilling our original birth plan, the one we had before getting pregnant with the twins. I'm so excited to get to be a part of this birth, to be in the midst of that birth energy, to get to witness my Love going through such an amazing transformation and to be there supporting her. And I imagine that the birth will be rather healing for us all. Healing and fun.