The Big Test

Tomorrow morning I am going to wake up early--to the sound of an alarm clock--and be out the door by 6:45 in order to drive an hour, and then, if all goes according to plan, take a five-hour test.

I have been working towards this goal--taking this test--for 6 years. I hope I don't mess up (as in, get lost on the way there, or forget to bring my photo ID, or, perhaps most significantly: fail the test). I would really like for this all to end with 5 new letters after my name: IBCLC. Tomorrow, I am taking a test, and if I pass it, I'll be an internationally board certified lactation consultant. I will be able to build a career out of supporting breastfeeding mothers and babies.

For several weeks now (and really, I should have started months ago), I've been cramming: trying to flood my brain with as much breastfeeding-relevant information as I possibly can. There is just so much to learn, there's no way I could know it all. I just have to hope that I know enough, that the information I've actually absorbed is the critical information, that I will be able to, after studying images for many hours, recognize the appearance of a nipple damaged by a breast pump and distinguish it from a nipple damaged by a baby with ankyloglossia (half of the questions on the multiple-choice test reference photographs).

I won't find out if I pass the exam or not until mid-October, which is actually kind of a relief. I am looking forward to taking the test and then not thinking about it at all anymore for a couple of months. It has been a huge source of anxiety as of late. There are so many things I want to do--namely finish the kitchen/dining room remodeling project that I began a couple months ago and then abandoned, abruptly and only half-started, leaving us to live in a state of shambles since then--and it will feel great to not have this looming test weighing heavy on my mind.

I would very much appreciate any calm, confident and hopeful vibes you feel willing to send my way as I attempt to make this long-term goal a reality!

me, at the start of this journey:

tandem nursing Luke and Jaz in the park

UPDATE: Thank you so much for your well wishes! The test wasn't nearly as difficult as I feared it might be, and the time allotted was way longer than necessary (in reality, it was more like a two-hour test than a five-hour test). There were a couple of questions that I really didn't know the answers to, but for the most part I felt like I was well-prepared to take the test simply for having been working with breastfeeding mothers and babies for the past several years. I definitely encourage anyone who qualifies to sit for the exam next year to plan to do so, and not to stress about memorizing anatomical structures or terms, but instead to focus on acquiring practical knowledge, and studying photographs related to breastfeeding and babies, such as those in The Breastfeeding Atlas.