Super Heroes

As dictated by Lukas and Jasper

Once upon a time, Spiderman and Lightning Man were fighting. Lightning Man was spraying lightning at Spiderman, and Spiderman was spraying webs at Lightning Man. A witch came along and put a spell on both of the Super Heroes. Spiderman spinned his webs around the witch, and she was trapped! There was a dragon, and the dragon was nice to the Super Heroes, so the dragon turned the witch into a frog. A fairy came along, and the fairy was also nice to the Super Heroes. She turned the witch-frog into a caterpillar instead of a frog. The dragon fell asleep and the witch crawled out of the web. The witch still had some powers even though she was a caterpillar, and she turned herself back into a witch. Spiderman and Lightning Man were still fighting. The witch flew away because she didn’t want the fairy to turn her back into a caterpillar. The fairy told Spiderman and Lightning Man, “Stop fighting!” so they stopped. The fairy flew away, and the dragon and the Super Heroes all went home together and got a snack of granola bars. Then they decided to fly to the witch’s castle and give the witch poison granola bars. They made a stew for the witch and fed it to the witch. They said, “this is a delicious soup,” and then they left it with the witch. The witch found out it was poison, but she didn’t believe that it really was, so she ate it and then she decided to never eat it again. The witch flew up to space and made a new castle in outer space. The Super Heroes and the Dragon started living in the witch’s old castle. They flew up to space and took all of the witch’s spells and Spiderman spun a web inside the witch and got all her magic out. Then they were still in space so they turned the witch’s castle into a hopping frog, and then the witch turned into a frog too.

The End.


Today I took Luke and Jaz to the pediatrician for their five-year "well visit." My children love to go to the doctor. And the dentist. They love to have their blood drawn and to have cavities filled. Why? Because they love that they get to pick a prize at the end. The prizes at the doctor's office and the dentist's office and the blood lab have nothing to do with me, so I feel no guilt about this built-in bribe. It's actually gotten to the point where if one of the boys has an appointment and the other doesn't, there will be tears about the injustice of it all. It is not fair when your brother is sick and gets to go to the doctor and pick out a sticker. Not fair at all. Last year Jasper went so far as to hide the thermometer so that Lukas would no longer be able to have his 105 degree fever, so that we wouldn't take him to the doctor, so that he wouldn't be able to pick out a sticker at the end. Who knew a small square of colorful, sticky paper could cause such jealousy and drama and turmoil? Actually, for the past several months the boys have somehow worked it so that whoever has the appointment will pick an extra prize for the "less lucky" twin back home. I'm not sure that this is really allowed or that it's the right lesson to be teaching, but it's pretty sweet and a whole lot easier than the alternative.

Today's appointments went well. The kids were chatty, chatty, chatty with the new pediatrician at University Health Services--where our insurance (through Lena's grad. school) dictates that we go, but where I have previously been loathe to take them. My arguments--it's 25 minutes away, it's not designed for kids, questionably skilled doctors, you can't get a sick visit appointment EVER--have faded away in the face of the fact that we have zero copay when we go there (as opposed to a 40% copay after a $200 deduction at our old pediatrician). And, it actually wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. There is a pediatrician on staff now, and since the nurses and technicians are used to treating college students, they were completely thrilled to see 3 little people. A welcome change from our old pediatric office where our kids would be 3 out of 150 kids seen in a day, and a genuine smile from the staff was a rare treat. So, I guess I'm okay with the switch, though I will miss our old pediatrician (the new one was rather blah and uneducated about the vaccine laws in MA and pronounced "vegan" like "veh-ganne" (we are not vegan, by the way)).

And the five year statistics are in! Lukas was 41 3/4 inches tall and weighed 42 pounds (this is about average for weight and 25th % for height). Jasper was 41 inches tall and weighed 40 pounds (slightly lower percentiles). According to the chart, this means that they are going to be between 5' 7" and 5' 9" when all the growing is done. Shorter than me!! Wow. What shrimpy little boys we have. Not that I mind. They also had their eyes and ears tested (so much fun according to the kids, "oh, I know how to do this! I love doing the hearing test!"). They each had two tubes of blood taken (lead test, blood count, chicken pox titer (they had the pox this past fall)), and they were very brave about the needles. They have yet to remove the sparkly band-aids and gauze squares because they want to show their friends at school tomorrow. They each got loaded down with prizes by the doting nurses and lab techs--fancy stickers and little plastic cameras and bottles of bubbles! And I didn't even mind because they really were brilliantly super throughout.