Seven Times Around the Sun

On Thursday we celebrated Lukas and Jasper's seventh birthday, along with the fact that it has now been 7 years since Lena and I spent a weekend alone together (well the latter part was maybe not so much a celebration as it was an acknowledgment). In recent years we've really tried to tone down the birthday hoopla, striking to find a middle ground between making the day ordinary and extraordinary. Jaz takes this all in stride, but Luke--our family elephant--remembers the days of birthday parties (plural as in more than one per birthday), a pile of presents and high levels of excitement. Much of the birthday this year was spent consoling Lukas about the lack of "specialness," and trying to help him to appreciate his birthday for what it was.

Two brand new seven-year-olds:

Luke and Jaz, February 2010

A large portion of the celebration this year involved preparing sweet treats. Both Jaz and Luke chose to bring carrot cupcakes in to school on their birthday (Luke requested that his be gluten-free with frosting, while Jaz preferred gluten-full without frosting). Because Luke and Jaz are in different first grade classrooms (at the same school), this meant that we had to make 48 cupcakes. Or rather, that I had to make 48 cupcakes. That said, I did have some help in the carrot-prep department.

Lukas peeled the carrots and chopped the tops off . . .

. . . and then handed the ready-for-shredding carrots to Jaz.

Jaz was in charge of shredding the carrots via the food processor.

Hours after the kids had gone to bed, the cupcakes were finally finished. A pair of very pleased birthday boys posed with their birthday snacks the next morning.

Each seven-year-old also required his own cake for the birthday dinner (which we shared with family and a few family friends . . . hoping to hold off on a "kid party" for as long as possible). Luke picked an ice cream cake (made with his favorite locally-made flavor: burnt sugar 'n butter), and Jaz chose our family standard of carrot cake (with cream cheese frosting on the side, per request). I continued the tradition of topping each cake with a wooden Ostheimer figure (we are slowly but surely building a collection); this year it was a walrus for Lukas and a tiger for Jaz. We realized at the last minute that we didn't have quite enough birthday candles (we could only find 10), so I placed--with mixed results--the 5 candles-per-kid in the shape of a "7" on each cake.


There was definitely some initial talk along the lines of "what? Only five candles?" But the excitement of the cakes quickly overruled any candle disappointment.

Thinking about what to wish for . . .

. . . and blowing with all of their might.

I love how Luke's eyes are on Jaz's candles . . .

Six years earlier:

Jaz and Luke on their first birthday

I had a bit of a hard time deciding what to gift the boys with for their birthday this year. I knew that I wanted to stay away from toys (more on that soon), and was hoping to think of something activity-related. I really want to set up a kid-friendly wood-working table (with kid-sized tools), theorizing that my own passion for working with wood will transfer to Luke and Jaz (and knowing that they enjoy anything that Lena or I are excited to do with them), but I haven't quite figured out where it will fit in our current house lay-out. I ended up catching the idea for their gift from my current book obsession (Simplicity Parenting), and put together a "fort making kit" that includes various lengths of clothesline, 100 clothespins and several flat sheets. I screwed eye hooks into several locations in the kids' room, providing anchor points for the clothesline (which the sheets are then draped over, creating cozy spaces underneath). After an initially lukewarm reaction, I helped them make the first fort and then Luke and Jaz both declared it a most excellent gift. Lena got each boy a rock-climbing harness and is planning to take them to the climbing gym a few times this winter and then to some of her favorite outdoor rock faces this spring. The kids are very excited.

At bedtime, once all the fun was over, Lukas had a bit of a meltdown and grumbled over the fact that all of his friends at school get lots of birthday presents and get to invite their friends to big birthday parties. I decided to begin what I hope will become a lasting tradition, in an attempt to help the kids mark their birthday in a more introspective way. I tried to impress upon Lukas (and Jasper) that birthdays are about celebrating a person's birth and existence, and also about taking the time to reflect on the past year and anticipate the year to come. I asked the boys to dictate to me their wishes for the coming year, their favorite thing(s) about being 6, and how they imagine themselves a year from now, on their eighth birthday. I sealed their responses into two, new envelopes, marked them "do not open until February 18, 2011," and put them in a safe keeping spot. The kids loved this activity and it really worked to shift their focus from what their birthday wasn't to what the next year--the year of being seven--could and would be.

Luke's wishes for the coming year:

- to go to an aquarium
- to go to New York City and see "the museum"
- to get at least an orange belt in Kung Fu*

Jaz's wishes:

- to go to California
- to get to the green belt level in Kung Fu*
- to grow at least 5 freckles

*No, the boys have never taken Kung Fu classes before, but apparently I need to look into it!

Lena and I were both exhausted by the end of the day--though not too tired to plan and then host an "after party" the following night (to finish of the remaining cake and alcohol)--and agreed that we are both quite happy with our current way of "doing" birthdays and feel like the kids are beginning to accept the new traditions as well. I can't really understand how our little babies grew to be these seven-year-old people, and it seems we are truly in uncharted territory now (since neither of us has had much experience with the 7-14-year-old crowd). So far, so good: I am--perhaps surprisingly--really enjoying the kids' ever-increasing independence and responsibility, truly looking forward to what this eighth year of mothering has in store for us all.