Once Upon a Time

All kids love stories. Mine are no exception. I think it was the summer after Luke and Jaz turned one that I first discovered that the best kind of story was the kind that I told them. Don't get me wrong, we have been blessed with children who love to be read to--books of any kind, really--pretty much anytime, anywhere (and trust me that this is a blessing in our house of actively-inclined children who will sit completely still for a book), but at least for my kids, telling stories is even better than reading stories.

In the beginning, the stories I told Luke and Jaz were very simple and very repetitive. The toddler version of Luke and Jaz were obsessed with construction vehicles (obsessed, seriously, without any encouragement from us or from books or toys--though I was actually a little disappointed when Zeben did not turn out to be equally into trucks (he's actually rather afraid of them and wants nothing to do with them) since I had amassed so much unnecessary truck knowledge by the time he was born and it felt a shame that it should just go to waste. That said, Leo is already gravitating to what few truck toys remain in our house, so maybe my truck identification abilities will come in handy one day again after all) and so the stories would go something like this:

Once upon a time, Mom was walking down the street with Luke and Jaz. Luke heard a noise. Brrrm, brrrrm. Jaz heard it too! "I think there's a truck up ahead!" said Mom. When they got closer, they saw that it WAS a truck. It was a ___________ [insert backhoe, excavator, skid steer, front loader, dump truck, bulldozer, etc.]! "Hi ___________ !" said Jaz. "Hi ___________ !" said Luke. Then Mom, Luke and Jaz all said good-bye to the __________ and kept walking to see what they could see.

The response from the kids was overwhelming. They loved it. "Again, again! More truck story!"

I told the kids truck stories whenever they'd start to melt down. In the car, on a long walk home, in the midst of a rough pre-bedtime routine. The magic of telling stories was comparable only to the magic of nursing. And it is a magic that I have kept close to my heart over all of the years since then.

These days, the telling of stories happens mostly at bedtime (and there's no faster way to get all kids dressed in pajamas and snuggled in their beds than to remind them of the story that will be starting in only two minutes!), but also sometimes when we're out and about and feet start to drag. Sometimes I tell true stories, stories of things that happened to me when I was a little girl (the kids especially love stories about things that I thought were scary when I was young, or times my sisters and/or I got in trouble), stories of things that happened to Luke and Jaz and Zeb when they were younger, and stories of things yet to happen. For instance, when Lena was pregnant, I'd tell a lot of stories about the three brothers, Lukas, Jasper and Zeben and their brand new baby brother. Before we go on a trip, I tell stories about the trip. Before holidays, I tell holiday stories (I think this is why we so seamlessly transitioned from gift-giving extravaganza Solstice/Christmas, to our current much-reduced celebration). When one kid is having a lot of fear about a particular issue, I'll tell a story about that exact fear and the way the kid overcomes it. But the kids' favorite stories are the half-true/half-fantastical stories. Like the one I told tonight.

Nearly all stories begin like this:

Once Upon a Time . . . there were 4 brothers: Lukas, Jasper, Zeben and Leo. They lived with their Mom and Mama on _________ [our street] in _________ [our town].

Zeben usually recites most of the opening lines (while I am frantically trying to think up what the story will be about). Tonight I told a story about how one night, in the middle of the night, the kids' toy, Mr. Robot Head, started making more than his usual bleeps and bloops. He started talking. From there, the kids figured out that if they asked him questions, Mr. Robot Head could predict the future. He could tell them important things (like if Leo was in danger of falling down the stairs), and he could tell them less-important things (like what they'd be having for lunch the next day). The kids had to decide if they should keep Mr. Robot Head's powers a secret or share them with Mom and Mama (and the rest of the world). Tonight, this was a to be continued . . . story because it was late and the kids needed to go to sleep. So we'll see what the kids end up deciding tomorrow night (sometimes I make the decisions for the story-versions of the kids, and sometimes the real, live actual kids interject with their real opinions).

Popular repeat story lines are those that involve mysterious baby animals being found in our backyard, or left on our door step (actually if Zeben could choose, I'd tell the "baby wombat" story pretty much every night). So those are easy defaults on the days when my brain simply can't come up with something new.

It is quite empowering to remember that I can tell stories anytime, anywhere, just as I could nurse the kids when they were babies. Of course, it is a choice I have to make, when I am feeling frustrated or exasperated or otherwise disgruntled and the kids are being nutso. I have to choose to tap into the playful parent inside myself, the one who makes up stories and captivates my kids and gets us moving to a happier beat. And it doesn't always feel like an easy choice. Some days it feels nearly impossible. When I'm really feeling angry, telling a story can feel like giving a reward that my children don't deserve. And that's when I have to remind myself that I love being a mother. That this is the best time of my life. That telling stories is healing and magical for all of us. That I am mostly punishing myself by withholding whatever it is that I know will help move the kids--and me--into a different space. Parenting can be fun and joyful nearly all the time (times of sickness and injury absolutely not included). And story-telling can play a large role in making that happen. If I only let it.

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Do you tell stories to your kids? Do you have any tips or tricks to share about thinking them up or motivating yourself to do it? Please do so in the comments section. If you haven't tried being a story-teller for your little ones yet, try it now and then post a comment to tell me (and everyone else) how it went!

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Gratuitous photo of a somewhat playful parent:

Giving the kids a donkey ride around the house
February 2006
Luke and Jaz were newly three and I was newly pregnant with Zeb
(though I didn't know it yet)