Five Boys on a Couch

This morning was not my favorite kind of morning. Lena and I had some of our friends over for a post-bedtime, leave-your-kids-at-home hangout last night, and it was a perfect and relaxing and engaging evening that completely hit the spot. Of course we stayed up later than perhaps we should have, considering the fact that our children weren't going to expect any less of us the next morning than they would on any other morning. Sometimes, after wining & dining all evening and then getting only 5 hours of sleep, I still manage to wake up and be a friendly and loving Mom who offers my 3-year-old unlimited access to my breasts without hesitation, smiles at my six-year-old no matter how loudly he's singing in my ear, and jumps up to change the baby's diaper as soon as it is obvious that it needs to be changed.

And sometimes, after wining & dining all evening and then getting only 5 hours of sleep, I wake up grouchy, with very little tolerance for any suckling (or touching, for that matter), or singing (or any noise of any kind), and feeling less-than-enthused about changing any flavor of diaper. But it was Lena's turn to sleep-in, so I got up with the kids at 7:00 and actually had a lovely bath with Leo while Luke, Jaz and Zeb watched a movie for a brief 20 minutes of peace. But by the time I woke Lena up a couple hours later (to nurse the babe), I was feeling pretty done with the day. I had already had to mediate a dozen arguments between a particularly fragile Zeben and his big brothers, and had listened to countless complaints from Luke and Jaz, all while keeping little fuss the fourth entertained (it's so true that children reflect their parents' state of being). Enjoying parenting is all about the mindset, and when I don't have it, I don't have it.

Katie and Aaron called at 10:00 to see if we were still on for brunch, and I was so disgruntled, I could hardly speak. But I told them, yes, do still come. Just don't expect me to cook for you. This is one truth that I have learned over the years: when you're miserable and not enjoying your kids, don't spend the whole day being miserable with your kids. Instead, invite some friends over and find joy in them, and it will rub off on everything else, kids included. In-between planning to come over and leaving their house, Katie and Aaron got into their own kind of funk (there was some sort of 2-hour electrical drama re: an attempted dimmer switch installation), but once we were all together, things quickly improved for all parties involved.

We spent the whole day together. We went for a walk in the rain. We made popcorn and hot cocoa and put the kids on the couch to watch a movie so that we could decide on what to have for dinner without input. And we ate Indian food on a picnic blanket in the kitchen while the kids dined alone at the table.

Now, when I should be sleeping and trying to catch up on what sleep was lost, I find myself reflecting on how lucky we are to have these beloveds in our life. The type of friends who you can call even when you're in the worst possible mood and know that they'll still be willing to be in your presence. Who you can count on to get you out of said horrible state without even trying. Because you just love them so much. And I feel really lucky for the kids too, that they all have each other, and so that when we stick them all on the couch in the other room, they're nothing close to alone.

1/2008

1/2009

1/2010

Thank you to Katie and Aaron and Elijah and Aryeh for turning a terrible morning into a fabulous afternoon. So much love.